Sequencial Bad Ideas
by Symmentha
Summary: It seems a lot of really bad ideas involve cross-dressing. Why didn't anyone bother to inform Kaoru and Misao before entering an all male fighting tournament?
1. The Rules of Gender Bending

Please forgive me. This is my first Kenshin fic. It's a romance thing. Again I apologize. It's also set in present day. It makes things easier.  
  
~Disclaimer~ I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or anything Kenshin related. I don't think I even own the fighting tournament since I based around the World Martial Arts Championship on DBZ.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"A fighting tournament?!" exclaimed Kaoru. "Yeah," answered her best friend Misao, "this one's a really big one too. Much bigger than the last one." "That one was such a joke," said the two's other friend Megumi. "We should definitely enter," said Kaoru. "You guys would be great. Though I still don't get your fascination with it. You're teenage girls, you should focus on normal things like boys," said Megumi as a cute boy walked by. "Boys are anything but normal," said Misao. "And besides there's got to be more to life then boys and make up-" "And clothes," interrupted Megumi. "Right, and clothes. Even if we are teenage girls. But none of us have been very lucky in that department-" "But what about Dan?" this time Misao interrupted Kaoru. "None of us have been very lucky in that department so we have to find other things to use our energy and attention for something else." Megumi and Misao smiled. Kaoru finished taking her books out of her locker. She slid them into her backpack. "But, if you'll support us then we'll support you," said Kaoru as she put her backpack on, "so I guess we're going to the mall."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The girls were settling down at a table in the food court with their smoothies (mmm.smoothies) while Kaoru examined the flyer she had for the tournament. She was reading it for more detail. "Oh no," said Kaoru. Misao and Megumi looked up at her. "Did they leave the calories in your smoothie?" asked Megumi. "The competition is for guys only." "What?" asked Megumi. "Those sexist pigs!" yelled Misao as she rose to her feet, "Let's go there anyway just to give them a piece of our minds! What sort of competition is this! Blah blah blah blah." as Misao ranted on Megumi and Kaoru had a quieter conversation. "You know what you guys could do?" asked Megumi. "What?" inquired Kaoru. "You could disguise as guys and enter the competition anyway. That way, when you win, you'll feel even more victorious." "That's a great idea." "What's a great idea?" asked Misao. "Disguising ourselves as guys and entering the competition," explained Kaoru. "That might just work," said Misao. The others could see the wheels turning in her head. "You two sort of look like boys anyway," teased Megumi. The Raccoon and the Weasel glared at her. Then all three started laughing as they stood up and threw away empty cups. Ready to begin shopping.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A week had passed and suddenly it was the day of the tournament. Kaoru had completely forgotten about it and the crazy plan. But at 6 o'clock that day there was knock on her window. She turned away from the window. The knocking persisted. Kaoru sighed and climbed out of bed. She opened her window and Misao climbed through. (Kaoru has a tree outside of her window.) Misao ran her fingers through her inky black hair. Kaoru gasped. Misao's long hair, which was usually in a thick braid down her back, was shorn just below her ears. "Why aren't you ready?" asked Misao. "Where is your hair?" shrieked Kaoru. "Well I had to cut it if I was to pass for a guy." Judging by the confused look on Kaoru's face, Misao figured she had forgotten. "The competition. The fighting tournament. Males only. Sound familiar?" "Mis, we were kidding. You should know by now that Megumi is never serious." "Now way. There is no way that I cut off my hair and spent a week picking out a name not to do this. Please Kaoru. I don't want to do this alone." Kaoru touched Misao's hair. She looked at her sadly and sighed. "I'll call Megumi." Misao leaped up and hugged Kaoru tightly. They both began to laugh.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"It's awful," said Kaoru. "How is it awful? I cut it perfectly. You look boyish. Handsome sort of," defended Megumi. "I know, but I liked my hair just as it was. This was a stupid idea. Why are we doing this for a dumb tournament?" "It's not that bad," said Misao as she tried to style her hair, "hmm.Vash the Stampede or Yusuke?" Megumi giggled. "Have you two got any clothes? Maybe that will help." "I've got some!" chirped Misao. She opened her backpack and took out two fighting gis, a short dress and a whole lot of bandages and tape. "You two won't need that much tape," joked Megumi, "and who's that dress for?" "It's for you Megumi." "You're making me your whore?" said Megumi as she looked at the short black and purple dress. Misao handed Kaoru her gi, which was green and black. Misao's was blue and black. "You're not our whore, you're our assistant. And if we're being guys and we have a beautiful girl working for us of course she'll be under clothed. I brought you these," said Misao as she held up a pair of glasses. Megumi smiled and put them on. "I'm only doing this because you guys are my best friends. And if you have to chop off your hair the least I can do is wear a pair of glasses." Misao began to tape and bandage her chest. Kaoru gelled her bangs down over her aquamarine eyes. She used a bit of makeup to bulk up the look of her face. She sighed and picked up a roll of tape.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Two boys and a girl dressed in somewhat matching outfits entered the tournament arena. "Remember, I'm Byushi and you're Riosuke." "Stop reminding me, I know my own name." "Do I get a fake name too?" "Why would you need a fake name? You're not in disguise." "I'm just feeling a bit left out. You and Raccoon get to masquerade as guys and enter locker rooms using fake names while I'm stuck being the hussy on the sidelines." "Sorry Megs, what would you like to be called? "You can call me Mitsuko." "Whatever Fox." "Whatever Weasel." "There's never anyone let to say 'whatever Raccoon' now I'm feeling left out." "Shut up Kaoru." "Don't you mean Riosuke?" "Yeah that. Hey look at that guy over there. I bet he's a girl in disguise too. Looks like you didn't have to cut your hair after all Riosuke," laughed Mitsuko. Riosuke turned his head and saw a guy with long auburn hair. The young man turned to look at him. Riosuke blushed, but it was Kaoru who was caught in his piercing emerald eyes. Kaoru realized how that must look and pretended to laugh at something Byushi had said. She tried not to look at the beautiful redhead with a scar on his face. "All I said was that maybe we should check in now," said Byushi. Riosuke giggled nervously and pressed his bangs down hoping to hide his face.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Wow, will you look at that girl over there?" said a fellow with spike brown hair. His comrades turned to look where he was pointing. The girl was stunning. She had black hair in a bun on top of her head she had on glasses but you could tell she wasn't plain. She was wearing a short purple and black dress. She had on high heels that had straps and cords wrapped around her impossibly long legs. A boy with long red hair in a ponytail looked at her companions. He locked eyes with one of them. The one wearing green and black. The guy went a little red under his hair. 'Was that guy blushing? No wait, he's just laughing.' "Hey Kenshin are you all right?" asked the rooster-head. "I'm just fine Sano," said Kenshin, "where are Soujiro and Aoshi?" "They're at the table registering for us," said the one called Sano. Also registering were Riosuke, Byushi, and Mitsuko.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Hello sir! My name is Shoyru Byushi and this is my brother Riosuke. We're here to enter the tournament," said a very eager Byushi. "Whose the broad?" asked the slightly greasy man behind the table. "This is our sister, Mitsuko," said Riosuke. "No broads can fight." "She's not here to fight. She's here to assist us and observe. She's too pretty to fight anyway," explained Byushi. "That's for sure," said the greasy man as he eyed Mitsuko's chest. Mitsuko glanced over at Byushi, then at Riosuke. 'I should have insisted on another dress.' "Why is it exactly that girls aren't allowed to enter?" asked Riosuke in a soft but masculine voice. "Well men never really know how to fight them. If they go all out then they're sexist and evil. If the man loses then he was going easy on her and 'letting her win.' Plus his friends would never let it go. And if he doesn't fight because he's a gentleman then he doesn't get to compete in the tournament so he'll never know his potential. Plus girls always use little tricks like crying mid-fight or flashing him. Plus they don't have balls to kick so it's not fair." Riosuke blinked and nodded. He handed back the registration form. He then pulled his brother and sister away from the table and into an alley. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all," said Kaoru. "I'm guessing this isn't just about the hair anymore," said Megumi. "No, it's not. It's that for the first time I have an opponent not holding anything back. They won't be afraid to hurt me. And that's a fighter's dream in a way but I'm not sure if I'm ready. And what if I take 'battle damage?' Don't you think there are two things they'll notice? And what if they kick us in the 'nuts?' We don't have any! Won't they notice that they're not there?!" gasped Kaoru. "You're giving up before we even start?" squeaked Misao. Kaoru looked away. "We're already here. We're already registered and you've already chopped of your hair. Something you've been crying about all day. You wanted this competition and now you're running away because you might have to try. I used to look up to you." With that Byushi left Kaoru standing in the alley. Kaoru blinked back tears and nodded to Megumi. Riosuke and Mitsuko exited the alley and looked for their brother. They found him standing awestruck out in the plaza. "What is it?" asked Riosuke. "Kaoru, Raccoon, Riosuke, whoever look at that guy. Is he the complete ultimate or what?" Raccoon and Fox followed Weasel's eyes to the perpetrator. It was a tall boy. He was beautiful. He had black hair falling into his ice cold blue eyes. "Or what. If he's the complete ultimate anything it would have to be the complete ultimate waste of your time. I thought we were here to fight," said Kaoru. Misao glanced at her sadly but with a tinge of anger. "You would know about wasting time wouldn't you?" threatened Misao. Before Kaoru could make a come back Megumi interrupted. "He's lovely that's for sure Misao," said Megumi. Misao smiled and stuck her tongue out at Kaoru. "But he looks so cold, so aloof, so angry and lost. Getting to him does seem like a waste of time." Misao frowned. "But Kaoru's right. You guys are here to fight." "Why do we find all the cute guys when we're disguised as guys?" whined Misao. "When you're disguised as guys," corrected Megumi. Kaoru and Misao glared at her. Megumi just laughed. "Attention all fighters," said the announcer in a heavy Dutch accent, "all fighters to the main stage. All of you." "I guess we should get going then," said Riosuke. Byushi and Mitsuko nodded and they entered the gate.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Well that's it for my first chapter. How did it go? I hope the name switching wasn't too confusing. I had that in there so you'll sort of know what mode their in. When they joke about boys and stuff that was their girl sides coming through. I know I didn't describe the location much, I never do that. I like to let the readers imagine. If you think I should be more descriptive just let me know and it shall be done. I think I did the characters okay but I dunno. It is present day after all, anything could change right? 


	2. Rule 1 : No Cohabitation

"Hello and welcome to this years King of the Fighters Tournament Competition Battle Fight Match...thing. I am your host, Doug, the Duke of Danger...commentary. So let me explain a few rules. Do not talk about fight club. Just kidding! Gotcha! No women. No performance enhancing drugs. No cheating And those are all the rules that we're telling you now. In a few hours we're going to host the preliminaries and tomorrow the actual fights will begin. So now, I suggest you go back to your hotels and settle in until 4 o'clock when the preliminaries start. It is now 11 o'clock so be back here in..." the blondish middle-aged sports announcer counted on his fingers, "five hours! Adios chicos!"  
  
Then the man sauntered off the stage/battle platform thing. The entire tournament area looked ridiculously similar to the World Martial Arts tournament set-up from DBZ, but no one wanted to point out how lazy the author was, she did control their fate after all. Riosuke, Byushi, and Mitsuko where stuffed together in a little air pocket that they discovered in the incredibly dense crowd.  
  
"I can barely breathe!" gasped Mitsuko.  
  
"Save your breath," said the deep voice of a stranger. Someone had grabbed Mitsuko's arm and was pulling her through the crowd. She grabbed Riosuke's hand who, then grabbed Byushi's. They formed a little train heading towards the exit and sweet oxygen. They finally made their way out, they all were gasping, drawing in deep ragged breaths.  
  
"Thank you so much!" wheezed Mitsuko.  
  
"Anytime," said the stranger. Mitsuko turned to look at him and was awestruck. He was adorable. He had spiky brown hair and big brown eyes. He wasn't especially spectacular, but she liked what she saw. She blushed a bit. Then Mitsuko noticed Riosuke and Byushi eyeing her blush. She frowned at them for a second before her lips twisted into her foxy smirk. She slithered up next to their savior.  
  
"However did you know how to get out of there?" She batted her eyelashes seductively at him. The stranger was a bit shocked at her sudden change of behavior. He was surprised, but not put off by it.  
  
"Uhhh...well I sort of, saw over the crowd. I'm tall you see," said the guy. 'Of course she can see that you're tall, you're such an idiot!'  
  
"And I bet you're really strong, to be able to move all of those big strong men out of the way. And agile too, because I never felt a bump." Mitsuko pressed her body against his and licked her lips.  
  
"Do you have a name?" she asked him flirtatiously.  
  
"Uhh...Sanosuke. You?"  
  
"I? I what?"  
  
"Do you have a name?"  
  
"Yes. I have a name."  
  
"May I ask what it is?"  
  
"You may."  
  
"What is your name, miss?"  
  
"My name is Mitsuko. Shoyru Mitsuko. And these are my brothers Byushi and Riosuke."  
  
"Mitsuko, I like that. Where are you staying?"  
  
"Are you planning on stalking me Sano?"  
  
"NO! I just wanted to escort you there to keep you safe."  
  
"My brothers are with me."  
  
"You can never be too safe."  
  
"Alright fine, you can escort me. Byushi, where are we staying?"  
  
"Staying?" asked a bewildered Byushi.  
  
"Yes, what hotel are we checked into?" asked Mitsuko.  
  
"Hotel?"  
  
"You didn't book us a hotel room!!!" shrieked Riosuke.  
  
"I wasn't aware that I was supposed to!"  
  
"Of course you were supposed to this was your stupid idea!"  
  
"So, you guys don't have anywhere to stay?" asked Sano.  
  
"I guess not," said Mitsuko sadly.  
  
"You can stay with me and my friends!" exclaimed Sano.  
  
"Really?" squeaked Byushi.  
  
"Yeah, we're all guys, mostly, it should be fine." So with that our heroes decided to bunk up with the enemy, a real boy! 


	3. Rule 2: Avoid Public Restrooms

Sanosuke led the girls (guys?) down a long hallway. They were heading to his hotel room. Normally they would be suspicious of nefarious deeds but they were guys, nothing was going to happen. Except to maybe Megumi.  
  
"Here we are," said Sano. Sano felt around and reached into a pocket, producing a shiny golden hotel ticket. He turned and waggled his eyebrows at Mitsuko before inserting the key and opening the door. Sano pushed the door open and ushered his new friends in. Megumi, Kaoru, and Misao all gasped. It was an extremely beautiful room. The room had light blue carpeting that was almost lush enough to be shag carpeting. There were lovely squishy navy and royal blue embroidered couches. The embroidery was of various flowers but it was done in every shade of blue imaginable. There was some green and yellow thrown in too. They also had elegant dark mahogany feet things that matched the coffee table and the rest of the furniture. The walls had alternating wall colors of a sky blue and spring green. The curtains were a dark forest green.  
  
"Oh wow," said Kaoru.  
  
"It's...beautiful," said Misao.  
  
"Yeah I guess it's pretty alright," said Sano with a shrug. That reminded the girls that they were guys and weren't supposed to say things like that.  
  
"Where are your roommates?" asked Mitsuko.  
  
"We're here, who are you?" asked a tall man with yellow eyes and random strands of hair falling into his face.  
  
"Well I'm Mitsuko, and these are my brothers Riosuke and Byushi. They're competing in the tournament."  
  
"Why are they here Sano?" asked the creepy man, completely ignoring Mitsuko. Mitsuko looked pissed, but she just crossed her arms over her chest and glared.  
  
"Uh...well they didn't have anywhere to stay so I invited them to stay here. We have a suite after all," responded Sano.  
  
"A suite that we all paid for. I don't want them here. Just because the girl is foxy is no reason to make the rest of us bunk up with these pansies. Wait till Kenshin and Aoshi get back."  
  
"Get back from where?" asked the redhead that entranced Kaoru earlier. He was either Kenshin or Aoshi.  
  
"Look at what the rooster head dragged in. We're already bogged down with rookie fighters enough as is, we don't need these guys taking up our space!" ranted the creep.  
  
"Hey, who are those rookies that you're talking about Saito?" demanded Sano.  
  
"You and the kid," said the man called Saito.  
  
"The kid?" asked a cheery voice popping in behind Sano.  
  
"Oh hello Soujiro I didn't know that you were in," said the redhead.  
  
"Who are all of you?" asked Riosuke.  
  
"Well, the jerk is Saito, the kid is Soujiro, Kenshin is the redhead that looks like a chick and Aoshi is the angsty guy standing in the doorway," said Sano as he gestured to each of the men.  
  
"I'm quite sorry, but I missed your names. That I did," said Kenshin.  
  
"Well I'm Mitsuko, that's Byushi and this is Riosuke," said Mitsuko. Riosuke almost blushed but was able to contain it. Kenshin was really cute! Byushi however wasn't fairing too well. He was openly staring at Aoshi. Riosuke elbowed him and he stopped before anyone could notice.  
  
"Oh, are you staying with us?" asked Soujiro.  
  
"Hopefully," said Byushi.  
  
"Yay! New friends!" squealed Soujiro. (Haha, he squealed.) Riosuke smiled, she was beginning to like Soujiro.  
  
"Whoa, whoa, hold on there, Soujiro. I wouldn't set my heart on a slumber party just let. I don't want them here," said Saito.  
  
"Why not?" asked Mitsuko sweetly.  
  
"Because you're strangers. How do we know that we can trust you?" inquired Saito.  
  
"Because we haven't given you any reason not to," stated Riosuke.  
  
"My trust doesn't come easy," growled Saito.  
  
"We aren't asking for your trust, we're asking for your room," said Riosuke, his face was beginning to heat up.  
  
"Well you're not getting it!" yelled (shrieked) Saito.  
  
"Sano said we could. He said that you all split the cost of the room. We're willing to contribute money also. Plus, it's your word against his and you both have equal ownership so you have equal rights on deciding who gets to stay and who doesn't."  
  
"Then we'll vote. All for kicking these guys out on their asses raise your right hand," said Saito. Saito and Aoshi raised their hands.  
  
"Anyone who wants to keep them raise your left hand," countered Sano. Kenshin, Sano and Soujiro raised their hands.  
  
"Three to two. We win!" exclaimed Sano victoriously. Riosuke, Byushi and Mitsuko were relieved.  
  
"Yay!" shouted Soujiro.  
  
"Do we even have enough room for them?" barked Saito.  
  
"We have three rooms, we can go two people to one room. And two will have three. Mitsuko, you and I can share," suggested Sano as he slinked closer to Mitsuko.  
  
"Actually Sano, I was thinking that I would just share with Riosuke and Byushi. I'm grateful for your hospitality, all of you, but I'm just not that kind of girl. Which room is ours?" asked Mitsuko. Kenshin pointed to a door on the left. The three nodded politely and retired for the afternoon.  
  
"Not that kind of girl! What other kind of girl would wear an outfit like that!" whined Sano.  
  
"Idiot," said Saito.  
  
"Don't be to hard on him," said Aoshi, "she was a very beautiful girl."  
  
"Now don't go getting any ideas Frosty," warned Sano.  
  
"Why did you even bring them here?" interrogated Saito.  
  
"They needed a place to stay."  
  
"Seems kind of fishy to me. Why wouldn't they arrange for a room?" questioned Saito.  
  
"It sounded like this was a last minute decision. It was Byushi's responsibility I gathered. He's a funny guy. A bit random at times."  
  
"I don't like him," said Aoshi.  
  
"You don't even know him," said Soujiro, "he didn't even say anything."  
  
"I'm not going in a three person room," stated Saito.  
  
"I'll go with Kenshin and either Aoshi or Soujiro," sighed Sano.  
  
"I'll take it," said Aoshi, "no offense Saito but you're scary."  
  
"Same to you Frosty," insulted Saito, "come one Soujiro, let's unpack." 


	4. Rule 3: Don't Get Too Close

Authorly rambleness: Woo! I made up two words! I just have to thank all the reviewers. Every time I read your reviews I just have to update to thank you all. Haha, y'all. So if you haven't reviewed yet, ¡que va! I needs it. So anywho, have you guys seen Harry Potter? Yeah? Ya like it? Tell me about it! IM me or whatever I guess: samansalmonhat.  
  
NOW ON WITH THE SHOWSBEAST!  
  
"Did you see him? Wasn't he the most gorgeous guy ever??!!" gushed Misao.  
  
"He was pretty cute," admitted Megumi.  
  
"What do you think Kaoru, was he gorgeous or was he perfectly dreamy?" squealed Misao.  
  
"He was hot..." said Kaoru absentmindedly.  
  
"He was only hot?" shrieked Misao.  
  
"Kaoru must like one of the others...Kenshin, right?" inquired Megumi coyly. Kaoru blushed and shook her head.  
  
"I don't like Kenshin, how could I? Besides it doesn't matter if we like them we're guys Misao. And we're here to fight. Remember? That's why we cut off our hair," Kaoru sighed as she thought of her hair. Kaoru ran her fingers through her short crop.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'll forget all about Aoshi and his dreamy blue eyes. You're right. It's pointless," conceded Misao. Kaoru smiled and put her arm around her friends shoulder.  
  
"We've got two beds. Who's sharing?" asked Kaoru.  
  
"Megs should have her own bed, I'm sure Sano will be joining her in a few hours," teased Misao.  
  
"Oh shut up!" said Megumi blushing, "there is nothing going on between us. I just flirted a little to get us a room. And it worked."  
  
"Yeah whatever you say. Let's just unpack," said Kaoru. So the girls began putting their things into the dressers, hoping that they'd stay long enough so that unpacking wouldn't be waste of time. Unpacking only took half an hour. So the girls had some time to kill. They headed into town to do a bit of exploring. Megumi separated from Kaoru and Misao for a while they were in a video game store proving their maleness. Megumi stepped into a wig shop and purchased three new wigs. Then Megumi ran off to visit a few more stores. She met up with her comrades and they ran to their hotel room. They reached the door when they realized that they weren't given keys.  
  
"Great, just great. We've got to go to the preliminaries soon. We can't go there with shopping bags. This is just wonderful. Thanks so much Meg-" ranted Kaoru.  
  
"Oh hello, you left without a key did you? No need to worry. I'm here, that I am. We'll be sure to get you guys some keys. Oh you went shopping, what did you buy?"  
  
"Girl stuff," said Mitsuko.  
  
"Uh...video games?" stammered Byushi.  
  
"We're just going to go drop these things off in our room and then we can all go down together," said Mitsuko. Kenshin nodded and watched as they all walked into their room. They emerged a few seconds later and they joined Kenshin in the hallway. They stopped at the front desk and got a few more keys.  
  
"Welcome the preliminaries! In the past we have done a punching strength test, but the machine keeps getting destroyed. So this year we're having a skill test. We have constructed an obstacle course maze that you all must complete in the 3-minute time limit. We will send you in 30 seconds apart. No direction will be given on how to complete the maze. So good luck," said the familiar announcer. Saito volunteered to go first.  
  
"Hey Sano," shouted Saito, "this maze is a competition of the mind. It's too bad that you won't even make it to the fighting portion of the tournament. I'll help you pack rooster-head." With that Saito turned and sauntered into the maze. Not to be outdone by his nemesis Sano volunteered to follow him in. After a few minutes Kenshin's entire group had entered the maze.  
  
"Do we get to know who made it out?" asked Riosuke.  
  
"Not unless you make it out yourself," said the announcer. Two minutes later it was Riosuke's turn to enter the labyrinth. 


End file.
